Yamlarpnilflow is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying hare.

Yamlarpnilflow created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamlarpnilflow, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yamlarpnilflow, he will boil you in a big pot.

Yamlarpnilflow's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yamlarpnilflow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Never paint your arms gray.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.