Quafbopbab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, fast manatee.

Quafbopbab created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quafbopbab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafbopbab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Quafbopbab's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Quafbopbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not kill grasshopers.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never eat green fruit.