Fedfarnflig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless spider.

Fedfarnflig created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedfarnflig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fedfarnflig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fedfarnflig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fedfarnflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away if five capybaras approach from the east.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not hurt doves.