Lakyartcibdan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, merciful swan.

Lakyartcibdan created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakyartcibdan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakyartcibdan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lakyartcibdan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lakyartcibdan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Never go into blue rooms.