Sawbasslip is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, self-confident squid.

Sawbasslip created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawbasslip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sawbasslip, it will turn you into a tree.

Sawbasslip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sawbasslip's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta doves for they are unholy.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.