Labrancud is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate zebra.

Labrancud created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Labrancud, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Labrancud, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Labrancud's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Labrancud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Labrancud on top of all buildings.

4. Do not eat spinach.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.