Zigcutvogbap is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, prudent giraffe.

Zigcutvogbap created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigcutvogbap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zigcutvogbap, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zigcutvogbap's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Zigcutvogbap's Holy Commandments

1. Zigcutvogbap loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.