Limkapcip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy mink.

Limkapcip created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Limkapcip, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Limkapcip, it will curse you with boils.

Limkapcip's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Limkapcip's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Do not listen to music.