Xuclig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, generous squirrel.

Xuclig created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuclig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Xuclig, it will send you a sign.

Xuclig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xuclig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine badgers approach from the west.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Do not hurt frogs.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.