Kapmigkemfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, stupid hydra.

Kapmigkemfeb created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapmigkemfeb, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kapmigkemfeb, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kapmigkemfeb's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Kapmigkemfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not stand on grass.