Appfumflan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical badger.

Appfumflan created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Appfumflan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Appfumflan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Appfumflan's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Appfumflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt cats.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.