Gemwadken is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered crane.

Gemwadken created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemwadken, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gemwadken, he will think nothing of it.

Gemwadken's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Gemwadken's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gemwadken first in all things.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look after injured voles.