Bonvegtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, astonishing ant.

Bonvegtarg created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonvegtarg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bonvegtarg, it will be mildly annoyed.

Bonvegtarg's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bonvegtarg's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bonvegtarg.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.