Banhugjab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil scorpion.

Banhugjab created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banhugjab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Banhugjab, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Banhugjab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Banhugjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never paint your arms yellow.

3. Hide if eight bats approach from the north.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always take life seriously.