Lamfliscan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent armadillo.

Lamfliscan created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamfliscan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lamfliscan, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lamfliscan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Lamfliscan's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never paint your feet cyan.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about moons.