Somsawpoddib is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sage horse.

Somsawpoddib created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somsawpoddib, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Somsawpoddib, he will turn you into a snail.

Somsawpoddib's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Somsawpoddib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Somsawpoddib.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from brown squirrels, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.