Litlopstik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, confident mink.

Litlopstik created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Litlopstik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Litlopstik, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Litlopstik's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Litlopstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Litlopstik's priests.

2. Litlopstik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never hurt sheep.