Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, capable hamster.

Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hasbamquammonhadjapfitcum.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not hurt horses.