Xenkarzen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sage fox.

Xenkarzen created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenkarzen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xenkarzen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Xenkarzen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Xenkarzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck turquoise.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never go into gray rooms.