Flatnuttcim Gabwonyarllinhaplik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, flying raccoon.

Flatnuttcim Gabwonyarllinhaplik created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flatnuttcim Gabwonyarllinhaplik, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flatnuttcim Gabwonyarllinhaplik, it will strike you with lightening.

Flatnuttcim Gabwonyarllinhaplik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Flatnuttcim Gabwonyarllinhaplik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Run away if nine doves approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.