Gilmob Tinladhab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient wyvern.

Gilmob Tinladhab created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilmob Tinladhab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gilmob Tinladhab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gilmob Tinladhab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gilmob Tinladhab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must love Gilmob Tinladhab.