Cisstam is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent swan.

Cisstam created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cisstam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cisstam, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cisstam's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cisstam's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your feet yellow.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.