Flaptifgun is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, compassionate troll.

Flaptifgun created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptifgun, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flaptifgun, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flaptifgun's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Flaptifgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Never talk about nebulae.