Gonsugrilbonwik is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent hippopotamus.

Gonsugrilbonwik created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsugrilbonwik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gonsugrilbonwik, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gonsugrilbonwik's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gonsugrilbonwik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.