Wadvolxuck is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil tapir.

Wadvolxuck created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadvolxuck, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wadvolxuck, she will remove you from existence.

Wadvolxuck's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wadvolxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Wadvolxuck's priests.

2. Never sing near voles.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Run away if five hamsters approach from the east.

5. Do not jump in public.