Yartfarflam is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, confident bee.

Yartfarflam created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yartfarflam, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yartfarflam, it will torture you forever.

Yartfarflam's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Yartfarflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.