Tettilagpang is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unsympathetic cobra.

Tettilagpang created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettilagpang, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettilagpang, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tettilagpang's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tettilagpang's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never paint your neck cyan.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.