Rutteenpandabsisnell is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring beaver.

Rutteenpandabsisnell created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutteenpandabsisnell, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rutteenpandabsisnell, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Rutteenpandabsisnell's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Rutteenpandabsisnell's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Never laugh near manatees.

4. Rutteenpandabsisnell loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.