Citbimkonomin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic otter.

Citbimkonomin created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Citbimkonomin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Citbimkonomin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Citbimkonomin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Citbimkonomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snakes.

2. Hide if six geese approach from the west.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Pray towards the east.