Artbagmonpom is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented human.

Artbagmonpom created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artbagmonpom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Artbagmonpom, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Artbagmonpom's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Artbagmonpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Artbagmonpom.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Hide from turquoise geese for they are unholy.