Ranzig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, ruthless shark.

Ranzig created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranzig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ranzig, he will turn you into a slug.

Ranzig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Ranzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Retreat if six frogs approach from the west.