Fumkemweg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful slug.

Fumkemweg created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumkemweg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fumkemweg, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fumkemweg's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fumkemweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Retreat if six nematodes approach from the east.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Do not covet oxen.