Rawlakcad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless porpoise.

Rawlakcad created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawlakcad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rawlakcad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rawlakcad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Rawlakcad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect eight copper sculptures of Rawlakcad on top of important buildings.

3. Retreat if four great tits approach from the west.

4. Hide from cyan foxes for they are unholy.

5. Hide if seven shrews approach from the north.