Mumjarnbap is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, selfish wolf.

Mumjarnbap created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumjarnbap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mumjarnbap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Mumjarnbap's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Mumjarnbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Do not hurt dolphins.

5. Hide from green sheep for they are unholy.