Sommifster Cetrigraksak is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, vain wolf.

Sommifster Cetrigraksak created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Sommifster Cetrigraksak, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sommifster Cetrigraksak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sommifster Cetrigraksak's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Sommifster Cetrigraksak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never hurt squirrels.

4. Retreat if eight manatees approach from the south.

5. Never feed aubergines to shrews while wearing yellow ear rings.