Bissvilfut is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical jaguar.

Bissvilfut created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissvilfut, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bissvilfut, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bissvilfut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bissvilfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never wear mauve trousers.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Never play with disobedient children.