Fotfitban is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, two-faced hummingbird.

Fotfitban created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotfitban, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fotfitban, he will come to you in dreams.

Fotfitban's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fotfitban's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Run away from red dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Do not chop down trees.