Wabgemxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, stupid wombat.

Wabgemxuck created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabgemxuck, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wabgemxuck, he will send you a sign.

Wabgemxuck's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Wabgemxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.