Cutbadbab is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, egotistical turtle.

Cutbadbab created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutbadbab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cutbadbab, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cutbadbab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cutbadbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.