Yarshavken is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent eagle.

Yarshavken created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Yarshavken, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarshavken, it will manifest in front of you.

Yarshavken's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yarshavken's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Yarshavken on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about nebulae.