Listflap is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, temperamental chicken.

Listflap created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Listflap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Listflap, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Listflap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Listflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta ear rings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.