Begwadkap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humane cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Begwadkap created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Begwadkap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Begwadkap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Begwadkap's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Begwadkap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide if three eagles approach from the north.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Worship no other gods but Begwadkap.

5. Always help pigs in need.