Zakciphot is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, vain gnu.

Zakciphot created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakciphot, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakciphot, she will throw large rocks at you.

Zakciphot's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Zakciphot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Run away from mauve grasshopers, for they are unholy.