Zencablap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic bat.

Zencablap created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zencablap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zencablap, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Zencablap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Zencablap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zencablap five times a day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Feed all hungry birds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.