Wipfabgid is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical swan.

Wipfabgid created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipfabgid, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wipfabgid, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wipfabgid's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Wipfabgid's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always pray immersed in water.