Cedladlatrutyarstiptof is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart whale.

Cedladlatrutyarstiptof created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedladlatrutyarstiptof, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cedladlatrutyarstiptof, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cedladlatrutyarstiptof's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Cedladlatrutyarstiptof's Holy Commandments

1. Cedladlatrutyarstiptof must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help tortoises.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cedladlatrutyarstiptof.