Carstiplamyokripsab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast tapir.

Carstiplamyokripsab created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Carstiplamyokripsab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Carstiplamyokripsab, he will turn you into a snail.

Carstiplamyokripsab's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Carstiplamyokripsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Carstiplamyokripsab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.