Zedhapquill is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, charitable troll.

Zedhapquill created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedhapquill, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zedhapquill, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zedhapquill's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zedhapquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never play with disobedient children.