Largnulfum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing yak.

Largnulfum created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Largnulfum, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Largnulfum, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Largnulfum's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Largnulfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick nematodes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Largnulfum on top of all buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.