Timhimcid is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, flying porpoise.

Timhimcid created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timhimcid, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Timhimcid, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Timhimcid's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Timhimcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Put Timhimcid first in all things.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not speak about peanuts.